Monday, June 6, 2011

No One-Year Subscriptions For Me!

I have cancer...not a curable cancer, but one that keeps me from making any long-range plans. It was rather funny....the day I was diagnosed I hurriedly drove home and cleaned out my underwear drawer. I suppose I was thinking I was doomed to die any minute, and Mama never would let us "go on vacation" or anywhere without everything (including underwear drawers) were neat and "respectful looking."

I'm not making light of it, but what do you do....crawl in a hole and wait for the long, black hearse? Not me! My life has been full, and I don't plan to make it less full. I certainly don't want to leave my family, that's for sure. So...I don't have an "expiration date." I'm going to live each day to its fullest...I'm going to be sure and say many "I love you's" - and I'm going to hug more. I want to live long enough to see my first great grandchild...it's a boy, and it will belong to my beloved grandson, David, and his beloved other, Jami.

The only thing I really hate is my body. I've always been small, but I'm even smaller....no boobs; no butt; no nothing but bones. I bought myself a butt, except when I wear it, it "moves," sometimes making me look as if the back of my knees has a butt - ha! I still enjoy laughter, a good steak, a long talk with my daughter, the day itself, and my job. No, I'm not going to quit; as someone said, "Someone might have a party and I wouldn't get to go."

There are times during the night I awake and I'm frightened....afraid of death? I don't know. If Heaven is there, and I believe it is, I will see my son and husband again.

But I don't plan to place an order for a one-year subscription....to anything!